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Posted in Personal

Published: 31st January 2020


Hello. Hope you’re all good this end of January day. I know that today is a pretty sad day for some people. So I wanted to pop on and say hi. I wanted to tell you a little bit about what I’m hoping to do with my social media this year, which I’ve sort of already started doing. I want to start sharing more stuff that is important to me. I want to keep sharing things about teaching and singing and performing and all of that, and I’m going to keep sharing stuff about lgbtq and education particularly the Arts and things like that, but I particularly want to start sharing more personal stuff to hopefully help empower other people into making their own lives better.

So I did start this the other day by sharing some stuff about body hair, which has been received really amazingly. People have really loved it, and I really appreciate everyone’s comments and shares and things like that, and I just hope that it has maybe helped a few people to see themselves in a different light. I wanted to come on and talk today about therapy because I think it’s something that’s not discussed as much as it could be. I think it’s something that has a taboo around it still – and that’s kind of the theme of what I’m probably going to start talking about is things that have a bit of a taboo around them that we’re not really taught about or it’s not spoken about when we were younger. So I want to talk about therapy.

I’m in therapy and I don’t think that’s necessarily something I ever thought I would say, but it’s actually being really amazing for me. I went into it because I felt I wanted to grow as a person – learn more about myself and the reason that I do certain things or the reason that I think certain ways and just to see if there is a reason underlying that I do that. I’ve been having sessions since the end of last year. The first few sessions were….I actually had some thoughts at one point where I thought I’m wasting my therapist time, I’m not really finding anything. I don’t remember much about my past really so I find it quite difficult to sort of “oh, why do you think that how did you come about that?” I find that quite difficult. So the few sessions felt very sort of just “blah” – just talking about stuff that I’ve talked about with my friends, but then after that we started finding some stuff that was really interesting and really helpful for me to grow. And it’s hard, you know, and I’m not looking at stuff that’s super super super hard – in the grand scheme of things – knowing what some people that I know have gone through and discovered through therapy – what I’m finding is sort of smaller, but they’re still absolutely significant and absolutely things that affect my life that I can change, and that’s amazing. And sometimes you just need that other person to help you notice those things, and identify why you do those things will say those things or think those things, and it’s not a bad thing, you know therapy is not a negative thing. It’s not an “oh, I need help, oh my goodness, my life’s a mess.” It’s not that at all, you know, and I think if we can normalize it a bit more, everyone’s going to be better off for it.

I think everybody should have some therapy because we all have hang-ups over things for various reasons, a lot of the time we don’t realize why and actually if you’re committed to learning about yourself and becoming a better person it’s a brilliant way to do that because you’ve got a non-judgmental, non…(what’s the word I’m looking for…), not, not swayed in any way towards, you know …. if you talk to a friend – of course – they’re going to want the best for you – they’re like, oh, you know, please look after yourself and all of this, and that’s really great, but actually sometimes you need that sort of just here are the facts kind of view. Also if you’re talking to a therapist, it’s someone who’s trained in how the brain works – because the brain is this big complicated thing, you know that does a lot of stuff – it’s very very clever. Image shows a screenshot of a post from tumblr. It reads:   showerthoughtsofficial: The brain is just 8lbs of meat that sits in complete darkness and plays a video game of what it thinks is the most realistic thing ever.  willow-wanderings: it's 3lbs, not 8. Also it's not really meat, it's mostly fat with some water and salt. You have a wad of soggy bacon inside your skull. And this blob of gross unprocessed jello somehow manages to run a complex biomechanical suit using less electricity than it takes to work a lightbulb.   And people wonder why humans are so f**king weird and have odd expereinces that aren't actually real. I mean, if a bowl of tapioca pudding managed to hallucinate so vividly it invented calculus, it also going "dude, i heard a weird noise and I'm 100% sure it was the ghost of the neighbour's cat which hasn't actually died yet" would be just expected as anything else.  whatevercomestomymind: Omfg dying  Source:  69,146 notesAnd so I saw a quote the other day, which I think was something like, the brain is equivalent to a bowl of tapioca, figuring out how to do complicated math equation – if that could happen then – yeah, there’s gonna be other weird freaky stuff going on as well because if it is developed to that point, then yes, it’s going to be like, “what’s that noise?” or overthink stuff. And that’s perfectly normal. (see image!) So yeah. I just wanted to come on today basically and tell you I’m in therapy. Tell you that it’s okay to be in therapy. It does not mean I’m “nuts”. It does not mean there’s something hugely wrong with me. It means that I am learning to develop and grow as a person and that’s great.

I want to address the issue of therapy not being accessible for everybody. I am lucky that I can pay for my therapy and I have found a therapist who works for me. They are brilliant – absolutely brilliant. And yeah, they’re right for me, and I can afford them – because (actually fortunately because) this therapist has a tiered approach to the way they charge if they didn’t I wouldn’t be able to afford them and I know there are a lot of therapists out there who don’t have that. I know there are a lot of people out there who can’t afford to pay for therapy and trying to find it through the NHS – as an amazing as the NHS is – it’s hard, you know and particularly if you’re, a child – you count as a child still particularly, it can be tricky to find a therapist, but I guess I just want to say keep trying – do what you can. You can start by finding blogs online to help – find forums and group that offer support for things that you want to work on in your life, and then try and make it a priority for you to find a way to do that, to help yourself. It would be great if therapy was more accessible and I hope that maybe in the future it will be, but I just wanted to sort of finish my video by acknowledging that it’s not the easiest for everybody to find. There are ways out there to find things. In Portsmouth we have Talking Change that you can self-refer to so that could be a good place to start. So yeah, that’s pretty much what I wanted to say therapy is good and there’s no shame in it and you should do it.